Experiencing loss is universal and something we will all go through in our lives. While it is always painful, it can be easier if you have a good support network. If you know someone who is grieving, here are five ways you can help them and show you care during this difficult time.
1. Offer to help them
Just after someone passes away, friends and family might have a lot on their plates, from making funeral arrangements to welcoming visitors. This can leave them little time for day-to-day tasks, like cooking, cleaning and minding children. Offer to bring them a cooked meal, pick up some groceries, help with admin, do some household chores, or babysit to ease them out of some of their responsibilities. Practical gifts, like food hampers and shop vouchers, can also be helpful.
2. Be an active listener
Everyone deals with grief differently. While some people want to be alone to process their feelings, many want to get them out and share memories by talking to someone with a sympathetic ear. Being an active listener means really hearing what the person is saying, not just waiting for a gap to give your thoughts or respond. Don’t interrupt them and let them talk for as long as they need to. It might not feel like much help, but for the bereaved, it’s a crucial part of the grieving process.
3. Don’t give your advice
Unless you are specifically asked – and even then it should be done with tact and caution – don’t give your opinion or dish out unsolicited advice. When someone is in mourning, they want to feel like they have a safe, judgment-free space to express themselves. They might not be feeling the way you think they should or doing things the way you would, but this is their journey. They don’t need to be questioned during this difficult time, they just need to feel supported and their emotions to be acknowledged.
4. Keep communication constant
After the funeral and ceremonies, a lot of people who were supportive think that the worst is over and that the bereaved doesn’t need them anymore. This couldn’t be more wrong. In reality, grief is a process – it isn’t linear and it can be a long one. Some days can be okay, while others will be a lot more difficult, especially over holidays and birthdays. Make sure you stay in touch to offer support on an ongoing basis, rather than assuming they are ‘over it’ and healed from the experience.
5. Assure them there’s hope
A common emotion experienced by many who have faced a loss is hopelessness. They might not know how they will ever feel whole and happy again after the tragedy. Something that can be helpful to them is some reassurance that their feelings will be less intense over time and that healing is possible. The passage from pain to a renewed life isn’t a short one, and there will undoubtedly be hard days. Grief counselling is offered to policyholders at 21st Century Funerals, and those going through loss can reach out for extra support.
